“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others you need to accept yourself.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Words can’t describe how much freedom we gain from letting go of the need for approval from others.
We are social beings and our culture places a great deal of emphasis on fitting in, pleasing others, not making waves. After all, in our not too distant history our survival depended on the being part of the “tribe”.
Often we lose connection with what we want for our lives by trying to live a life that gets the stamp of approval from others.
Take a moment right now to imagine for a moment what it would feel like to not care what other people thought about you.
What would be different in your daily life?
Would you dress differently?
Would you act differently?
Would your goals or the direction of your life change?
The truth is that we have no control over what other people think about us.
We can be the most kind, amazing, beautiful, talented, generous person in the world and there will still be someone who finds fault in us. The good news is that people’s perceptions of who you are have nothing to do with you. Other people’s perceptions of you reflect something about themselves.
Try this experiment, next time you have a judgmental thought about someone else: examine it.
Are you judging this person in some way to make yourself feel better in comparison?
Are you holding them to a standard or ideal that you hold to be important?
Is that standard or ideal really “yours” or is it something you have adopted?
Often when we examine our judgmental thoughts we find that they serve to make us feel better about ourselves or to reinforce our beliefs about how things should be. The process of being mindful of our judgmental thoughts allows us to release them and consciously define what we truly value.
You will find that the most judgmental and critical people are the people who are also the most judgmental and critical of themselves.
If anything this awareness can help you to have empathy for how hard it must be to be them!
So I invite you to be yourself.
I encourage you to remind yourself that other people’s opinions about you are none of your business. I hope you will spend the rest of your life living a life that makes you happy. Let your life be a reflection of what makes your heart sing.
I love this quote from Marianne Williamson, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others the permission to do the same”. I hope you find the courage to let yourself shine unabashedly.
Life is much too short and sweet to spend worrying about what anyone else thinks about you. I think we all have a contribution to bring to life. We are all here to make this world a better place in our own unique way.
The only way to leave your mark on this world is to be 100% unapologetically you and to lovingly allow others to do the same.