If I told you that your body is perfect just as it is, what would you say? If you would challenge me with a list of perceived flaws and imperfections, you would not be alone. The vast majority of us are so used to berating our bodies that a statement like that feels outrageous. So many of us equate the acceptability of our body based off of how closely we meet the arbitrary ideals set by our culture. This is especially true for women, who have long been taught that beauty, youth, and more recently, thinness are the ideals we should strive for. From an early age we are bombarded with images that we use as a measuring stick against our own body.
Unless we can learn to set our own standards for worth and beauty, we are doomed to poor body image. The good news is that you can learn to accept and even love your body- right now. We cannot bully ourselves into positive body image. I promise that even when you reach that goal weight or have six pack abs you will still feel insecure about your body if you don’t do the inside work first. Here are a few suggestions to get you started on the path to better body image.
- Please remember that the images we see on social media and in advertising are not real! People pose to highlight their best features and share the best parts of their lives. Photographers use photoshop, makeup, and lighting. Models and fitness competitors do not look like that in their day-to-day life. Advertisers spend millions of dollars creating images that feed off our insecurities and desire for belonging. Healthy body image requires us to be conscious consumers. Pay attention to how these forms of entertainment make you feel. Engage with forms of media that include people that inspire, motivate, uplift, and improve the quality of your life. We cannot completely insulate ourselves from these images, but we can limit our exposure as much as possible.
- Please stop the body bashing! We need to stop using self-deprecation as a form of connection. Instead of discussing our unhappiness with our bodies, we can find other ways to connect. Shifting conversations to shared interests, aspirations, insights, and authentic vulnerability helps us create more meaningful connections. I encourage you to speak up when we hear body bashing from others as well. I always think of my daughter. I can’t give her a world that is free from body bashing, but I can do my part to speak against it when I hear it.
- Please stop dieting and using exercise as a form of punishment! Many women have been on diets literally forever. There is a billion-dollar weight loss industry for a reason. The problem is that most diets do not work and end up leaving us in a worse state then where we started. Real body transformation is a lifestyle transformation. It is going to require changing how we relate to food, exercise, and our bodies. Losing weight is especially hard in a culture where we are surrounded with highly processed, hyperpalatable foods. In many ways our food industry has set us up to fail. Lifestyle transformation is about finding a sustainable relationship with food and exercise. The goal should be to feel the best we possibly can while making choices that support health and longevity. For many people this may mean reaching out for professional support.
- Learn to be happy with your body now! I know this is a hard one, but I promise if hating your body was the answer, we would all be supermodels. Focusing on our flaws and failings is not going to get us to our goals. Find ways to celebrate your body now. List your strengths and what you love about your body. Think about all the amazing things your body does for you! I often reflect on how I related to my body in my 20’s and cringe. I do not want to look back 20 years from now and regret not fully enjoying this 45-year-old body, flaws and all.
- Consider your Source. I don’t believe our Creator makes faulty products. The same God that designed mountains, sunsets, and chocolate made us! Each one of us was carefully crafted and perfectly designed to be who we were intended to be. When we criticize our miraculous bodies, we are criticizing our Creator. You are one of a kind. What can you start to do today to celebrate your uniqueness and share that with the world? Why not choose to be counter cultural and love your body? Not because it is perfect, but because it is your home for this lifetime.