Eating disorders are often the result of a wide variety of factors and influences. Genetics, primary caregivers, culture, peers, personal disposition, and other mental health disorders have all been associated with the development of eating disorders. Parents often wonder if they have contributed to their child developing an eating disorder. I often remind parents that it is not just one of these factors but often multiple variables that contribute to the development of an eating disorder.
That being said, I do have some suggestions that parents can implement to help support their children in developing a healthier relationship with food. We live in a culture very focused on food, body image, and health. Sometimes parents struggle with their own food relationship or body image. We can support our children by creating a supportive home environment. Here are some suggestions to get your started.
No” Good” or “Bad” Foods
Carbohydrates are bad, sugar is bad, fat is bad, processed foods are bad. These are some of the food rules we hear promoted in media today. Many of my clients feel confused by the ever changing food and nutrition information promoted. I encourage my clients to see all foods as neutral-not good or bad. Yes, some foods are more health promoting and some foods just taste good. There is room in a well-balanced diet for all foods. The only exception to this would be a diagnosed food allergy or intolerance. I encourage my clients to become in tune with how different foods make them feel and plan their plate accordingly. If you have a picky eater, I encourage you to involve your children in meal preparation and shopping. Farmers markets are a great way to introduce children to vegetables they may not normally eat.
Food as Fuel
If your children are participating in athletics or leading an active lifestyle it may help them to reframe their food intake as fuel. Encourage your children to make food choices that support the energy requirements of their activities. Under fueling and injury often go hand in hand. When we support our bodies by making sure we get adequate nutrition we are helping to keep ourselves doing the activities we love. Sometimes well-meaning coaches give nutrition advice to athletes or comment on food choices. Unfortunately, this advice is not always sound. I recommend seeking the guidance of a registered sports dietitian for help in planning a well-balanced meal plan for your hard working athletes.
No Diet Talk
Make your home a diet free zone. If you are dieting, please do not discuss it with or in front of your children. This includes posting meal plans on the fridge, counting calories, or engaging in any diet related behaviors. Our children are always watching us and looking up to us. There is nothing wrong with pursuing healthy weight loss or making positive lifestyle changes. However, our children do not always understand the context these changes are made in. If you struggle with your own body image or food relationship, I strongly encourage you to reach out for support. Our children are going to be bombarded with diet related messages and marketing outside of our homes. I encourage you to make your home a diet free zone where all foods are welcome.
No Body Shaming
Please pay attention to how you talk about your and other people’s bodies in front of your children. If we are vocal about our unhappiness with ourselves because of our weight, they will hear it. If we make negative remarks about other people’s weight or size, they will make that association as well. A seemingly harmless comment like, “I feel too fat to wear this” can leave a lasting impression. Try to praise your child as much as possible for things outside their appearance. Again, we live in a culture very focused on externals. We can go a long way to supporting healthy self-esteem in our children when we help them develop confidence in who they are as individuals.
Find Non-Food Rewards and Emotional Support
“You did so good on that test, let’s go out for ice cream” or “I am sorry you skinned your knee; will a cookie make you feel better?”. Many of us grew up with food being used as a reward. Many of my adult clients continue to sooth their emotions with food. We can help our children develop a healthy relationship with food by helping them find non-food ways to reward themselves and manage their emotions. Food will always be a part of our holidays and big celebrations. However, we can develop new traditions and establish ways to celebrate that do not revolve around food.
Check-In
I encourage you to check in with your children on how they are feeling about their relationship with food. Keeping an open and ongoing dialogue regarding their body image and relationship with food can help you catch a potential problem early. Pay attention to the images and messages they are viewing on social media and through advertising. Questions like “how do advertisements like that make you feel” or “why do you choose to follow that influencer” can open up conversations about what they may be experiencing. If you notice changes in their eating behaviors explore the underlying motivations. Seek the support of a registered dietitian when needed.
I believe we are all doing the best we can to raise our children. Developing positive body image and a healthy relationship with food can be challenging in our current culture. I hope these suggestions provide some ideas of small changes you can make to support your children in developing a healthy relationship with food. Please reach out with any questions or if you feel like you need additional support.