What is your Identity? Wikipedia defines Identity as “the qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and/or expressions that make a person or group.” Where did your identity come from? Is your identity something you curated yourself, or is it a collection of traits and qualities collected through a lifetime of other people’s experiences of you? Most often, our identity comes from who the world taught us to be.
That is why true and lasting behavioral change is so hard. Often when we set goals, we focus on the behaviors that we must change or the habits we need to develop or break. For example, “I will start exercising” or “I will stop smoking”. What really gets in the way of our success in achieving these goals is our identity. The conscious and unconscious beliefs we have about ourselves prove stronger than our resolution to change.
So why not start there? Who would you have to become to be successful at your goals? How would you act, think, feel, and behave? How would you move through your day differently? Are there aspects of your identity that are holding you back or no longer serving you? The good news is that you get to decide your identity. We have the freedom to decide the type of person we want to be. We have the power to change how we see ourselves and how we relate to the world around us.
This year, instead of embarking on New Year’s resolutions, why not embark on an identity revolution? Why not take the time to develop the qualities, traits, habits, behaviors, and thoughts of the person you would like to be. Our identity is not set in stone. Our identity does not have to be our destiny. Through mindful awareness, curiosity, self-compassion, and intentional practice, we can change even the most well-worn parts of ourselves. You don’t need to wait for anyone else’s permission or approval.
Please understand, your identity is not who you are. You are so much more, more than words alone can covey. Your identity is how you show up in the world. Why not take the rewarding risk to show up as everything you have ever wanted to be? The only thing standing in the way is an old identity that may be overdue for a makeover.